He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special