I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart