you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.