Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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