Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
