It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
