we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize