oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize