dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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