He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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