i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
