If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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