I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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