Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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