OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
