Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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