is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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