You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
they need to just BURY HIM!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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