Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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