shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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