I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
