What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
