I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
