I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize