Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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