you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
