So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
