Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Let's get the cat blown out
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