2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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