I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
