I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
