Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
