people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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