he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY