I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.