Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?