It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance