So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.