You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
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That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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