So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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