I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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