we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They have beer where we have blood.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
