she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize