the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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