I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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