honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
