I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
