If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
two words...techno handjob
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
