420 ftw
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
