That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
