I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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