do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
