If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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