i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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