You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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