he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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