dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
