porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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