Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
