I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
