I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
