I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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