My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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