you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
