have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
