Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
