she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
